Why I’m Happy I’m Co-Parenting Alcohol Free

When my children were just a 10-month-old and a not-quite-2-year-old, I made the hardest decision of my life: to move out and leave. I couldn’t take the lies anymore, and I knew deep down I didn’t deserve them. That’s when my drinking escalated. At the time, I couldn’t see it, but now it’s so clear alcohol became my way of coping with the pain, the stress, and the loss of what I thought my life would look like.

Fast forward to now, and I still co-parent with that same person, a person with borderline narcissistic tendencies. To be honest, it’s exhausting at times. The inconsistency, the belittling, and the lies he tells about me don’t just weigh on me; they hurt my children too. I feel sad sometimes that I chose a man who behaves this way. But I also know the truth: those behaviors will only damage his own relationship with our kids in the long run, not mine.

And here’s where the shift comes in—today, I’m grateful. I’m grateful that I am doing all of this alcohol free. I’m grateful for the training, the tools, and the mindset shifts that allow me to handle the chaos with clarity instead of clouding it with a drink. Because when you’re co-parenting, especially with someone difficult, the one thing your kids need most is consistency and stability. Alcohol could never give me that.

I can’t control what happens in the other house. I can’t control what he says about me. But I can control how I show up for my children. They get the best of me now, present, clear-headed, strong, and steady. That’s what they deserve, and that’s what I deserve too.

If you find yourself drinking your way through a divorce or pouring a glass just to cope with the exhaustion of co-parenting, I see you. I’ve been there. Please know you don’t have to do it that way. Recognize it, ask for help, and give yourself the chance to step into something better. Your kids deserve it. You deserve it.

Choosing an alcohol-free life while navigating co-parenting hasn’t just helped me survive, it’s helped me thrive. And that’s something I will never regret.

If this resonates with you, and you’re ready to explore what life without alcohol could look like, I’d love to walk alongside you. You don’t have to do it alone.